Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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