took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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