have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
