Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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