it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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