I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
