Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
