Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
