I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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