I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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