hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
