Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
