I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
