I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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