is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
ttyl tear gas
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
