I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she peed on how many people?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
