you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
