do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
