Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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