Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
