i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She's just so happy...and so naked.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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