I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
