i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
