Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
