I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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