If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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