we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
