where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
