just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
