in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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