I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
