they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
pop tarts are not kleenex
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
