Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I believe in your delicious
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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