vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
