Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
