Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
