We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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