You made me cry and you don't even care
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
