After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
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Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
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were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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