Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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