I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize