she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
