first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
