i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
And then he peed in my hair
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
