Nicole vs. Life
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
