If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Welp...herpes.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
