There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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