Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
