hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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