i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
