Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I deserve this hangover.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
