I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
