what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
