I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
