summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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