i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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