Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
