What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
