I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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