I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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