just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
