I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
