"it" just moved
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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