Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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