well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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