that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
