YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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