My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize